Day two focused on different types of orgasms. Day three was all about foreplay. Day four introduced the idea of why the heart is important during sex. Day five, which quickly became my favorite, was a sensual meditation on breast massage. Some of the details were so specific—36 strokes in one direction, and then in the other—I became turned on just by listening. As the week of sex meditations wore on, I noticed myself doing exactly what Silva described: becoming more attentive and aware of my own senses and desires.

On day six, things got really interesting: it was time to talk “slow self-pleasuring.”

I’m no stranger to masturbation, especially as a form of stress-release and self-care, but this wasn’t my usual afternoon quickie. Instead, the pleasant female voice walked me through a detailed plan of slowing down masturbation in order to focus on my body and what I was feeling. At least 20 minutes of self-pleasure, the meditation directed. I followed orders.

By this point, it had been a full six days since I have tried to have an orgasm (though not required, I’d decided to pause doing anything sexy with my husband or solo in order to fully experience the meditation app) so I was eager to give it a go. My last several attempts had been frustrating at best—even using my best moves, I was too distracted by money worries and career anxiety to fully enjoy myself. But nearly a week of sex meditation had paid off: after 20 minutes of what I can only describe as mindful foreplay, I had a very intense orgasm.

On day seven, it was time to think about bringing my partner into my new Zen approach to sex. I was tingly, I realized, in the same way that I get tingly after my husband or I has a work trip and we’re about to be reunited. “When we center ourselves it’s often easier to be present with others,” says Liz Powell, Ph.D., a psychologist in San Francisco. “Taking the time to meditate can help you clear out the junk from the outside world that piles up between you and those closest to you.”

When my husband and I finally got down to business, I noticed a subtle but powerfully sensual shift. I was more attentive to each touch, purposefully slowing down, focusing on foreplay, and enjoying every little moment without wondering when we were going “get to the point,” so I could get back to my to-do list.

I’m not sure if it was the advice stop trying to “chase the orgasm” (a gem from day seven), the reminder to “keep breathing and stay with each other,” or simply the fact that I was more focused on my body’s enjoyment and less focused on checking one more thing off of my to-do list, but I could definitely tell we were much more in touch with each other’s needs than we have been in months. I was more connected to myself, and in turn, more connected to my partner.

On top of that, I finally found a meditation routine I want to stick with. Something about meditating for better sex worked for me in a way regular old mediation never has. Not only did the mindfulness techniques really help me get better in touch with myself but the guided sessions also taught me quite a few things about how to seek my own pleasure. I know exactly how my husband and I will be spending our Valentine’s Day weekend.

Irina Gonzalez is a freelance writer and editor based in Florida, covering food, wellness, relationships, travel and Latinx culture. Follow her on Instagram at @msirinagonzalez.

Your first crush is a rite of passage. The fixations that follow it are just life. Nervous, awkward, sublime. Disastrous. Transcendent. Here, we celebrate infatuations, obsessions, and passions in all their exquisite splendor. Meet our It’s Just a Little Crush series. Isn’t she divine?

There are makeup products with purposefully provocative names, like Nars’ Orgasm collection and Kat Von D’s short-lived “Underage Red” lipstick shade. Sex sells…right?

But the word “crush” brings to mind something totally different. Crush makes me think of the Valentine’s Day dance in seventh grade, during which I slow-danced with this boy named Kevin (leaving room for the Holy Spirit, as one does) and promptly launched a years-long campaign to win his heart. (If you’d like to know how that turned out, here’s a spoiler: I attended his wedding a few years ago! As a guest, with my awesome boyfriend in tow!)

But that’s the appeal of a crush: It’s low-stakes. Puppy love. Butterflies in your stomach. It’s relatively innocent, since a “crush” implies that you haven’t crossed into “makeout sesh at your college bar” territory. So when “crush” appears in the name of a lip color—and it does a lot—I assume it’s similarly tame. To test that theory, I got my hands on every tube of crush-themed lipstick I could find. As it turns out, I’m kind of right: Of the 19 shades I tried, not a single one got close to vampy, sexy, or taboo. If anything, there were too many soft-pink neutrals.

But within the range of nudes to fuchsias, there’s a lot of variety, and some good shades at that. So I tested all of them to see which really were crush-worthy—and which weren’t. Buckle up.

Miley Cyrus‘ wedding is the gift that keeps on giving. So far, the pop singer and her husband, Liam Hemsworth, have shared a handful of moments from their private, secret ceremony that took place right before Christmas Eve. On Valentine’s Day, though, Cyrus posted an even larger batch of photos that may as well be their full wedding album.

“My Valentine every single day ❤️ @liamhemsworth,” Cyrus wrote in the caption of the first photo she shared: where she and Liam embraced in a candid moment. She also talked about how supportive Hemsworth is in another post, sharing, “Thank you for always bending down to hug me … I promise I will always meet you in the middle on my tippiest toes! I love you Valentine! @liamhemsworth.”

The photos also offered a closer look at her Vivian Westwood dress, their flower-laden wedding cake and the white Vans that Hemsworth wore.

Cyrus and Hemsworth were slow to trickle out wedding photos initially after their surprise ceremony. When they made their first red carpet appearance as a married couple in late January, though, Hemsworth opened up about their wedding, calling it a “really nice, beautiful day with our immediate family and a couple of close friends.” He also said that even though they’re married, their relationship is pretty much the same. “It doesn’t feel like a lot’s changed—but on the other hand it has,” he said. “It’s wonderful. I’m loving it.”

Cyrus, meanwhile, confirmed that the pair were indeed married with two words. “My love,” she wrote on Instagram, sharing their first wedding pic and adding a heart emoji. She also shared a selfie of her and Hemsworth with the caption, “This is probably our one – millionth kiss ….” In the comments, when someone congratulated the singer on marrying “the hottest man [in] Hollywood,” she replied, “I knooooowwwww right.”

While Cyrus has yet to update her Instagram, she is apparently going by Miley Ray Hemsworth now, as Hemsworth recently revealed. “She will still be, obviously, known as Miley Cyrus, but she took my name, which is great,” he said. “I think that was honestly one of the best things about it. I didn’t ask her to take my name, and then she was like, ‘No, of course I’m taking your name.’ I’m like, ‘[Gasp] that’s awesome!'”