The Bachelor Season 23, Episode 3 Recap: Elyse for Bachelorette?

We open tonight with Sydney recapping last week’s drama. She hopes that now, in week three, they’re all past that. Excuse me, ma’am. What show do you think you’re on? Also, recapping The Bachelor is my job. So let’s get to it—spoilers ahead, obviously.

Chris Harrison shows up with a group date card and this extremely helpful advice: “There will be highs, there will lows, that’s the way it goes!” Are you a Dr. Seuss poem now or what? “I bet I’ll be seeing you around,” he says, ominously, as he departs. (I mean, yes, you will because that’s literally your only job around here.)

Anyway, Katie, Heather, Hannah B., Courtney, Kirpa, Tracy, Demi, and Caelynn are all going on the group date. Hannah B.’s annoyed because that means she’ll have to spend even more time competing with Caelynn. (What. Happened. Between. These. Two? There has to be more to it than “I won and she didn’t.”) The date is at some place called Pirate’s Dinner Adventure, which is basically Medieval Times in Pirates of the Caribbean cosplay and an excuse for Colton to wear a deep V.


PHOTO: Rick Rowell

The date concept is pretty straightforward: The women are to dress up in pirate gear and compete to star in the show with Colton. He spends most of the time, though, flirting with Caelynn. This bothers Hannah, naturally. “I didn’t come here to compete in another pageant,” she says. (But you kind of did?) And, shock, Caelynn gets to be in the show while the other women watch from the “poop deck.” Demi heckles them by throwing a full turkey leg onto the stage. I wish Demi wasn’t Demi because that is a move I can get behind.

The show ends with Caelynn saving Colton or whatever, which leads Hannah B. to decide that Colton needs to know the truth—or her version of it.

That night at the after party, Colton bonds with Katie while Tracy and Demi bicker about who is more passive aggressive. Again, Demi makes fun of Tracy for being older than her. Demi, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS LAST WEEK. STOP.

But no, Demi will not stop. Instead, she interrupts Courtney’s time with Colton so she can blindfold him and spank him with a paddle. Then she rubs a mannequin hand over his crotch. It’s as weird as it sounds, but not to Demi. “I think he really appreciates how I have fun with him,” she says. When she returns to the group, Courtney pulls her aside and asks her to be “more aware” of her tone. Demi’s like, nope.

Colton and Caelynn are having a good time talking/making out while Heather gives Hannah B. horrible advice: Warn him about Caelynn. Here’s better advice: If you are a Bachelor or Bachelorette contestant never, ever do this. It does not end well for the tattletale. Just channel like one percent of Demi’s confidence and mind your own business.

Of course, Hannah B. doesn’t do this. She tells Colton that she and Caelynn were friends and roommates at Miss USA, but there was a falling out. They haven’t talked since. She describes the experience as the most “hostile” environment she’s ever been in—and she’s wondering, if he can like Caelynn so much, how can he like her? Colton responds with a bunch of sighs.

Then he asks Caelynn for her side. She says basically the same thing: They were friends, but they responded differently to being in a competitive environment. She admits that in difficult situations, her response is to get quiet and close off. But that’s because she’s still recovering from some “real life shit.” She wants to open up to Colton about that someday, she adds, but it’s too soon in the relationship right now. Fair. Colton agrees, and he gives her the rose.

The next morning, Colton has a one-on-one date with Elyse. They take a helicopter ride to San Diego, where they spend the day at Belmont Park with a bunch of adorable kids. My favorite is the little girl who screams, “Last one on is a rotten egg!” as she runs to the rides. My spirit animal. I think it’s the same girl who later tells Colton she watched The Bachelorette with her mom all the time. It’s like a glimpse into my future.

After seeing how great Colton was with the kids, Elyse isn’t worried about the age difference anymore. And Colton’s impressed with Elyse’s confidence and independence. Over dinner, he asks where those traits come from and she opens up about how her sister was diagnosed with cancer while pregnant. Elyse’s sister couldn’t do treatments because of the baby, and she passed away. It was tough, she says, but her family loves the baby so much and they created a children’s charity in the sister’s honor.

Fully crying. Wow, Elyse for Bachelorette? Naturally, Colton gives her the rose, and they end their date with one of those signature random “private” concerts.

The next day is a group date with Tayshia, Nina, Catherine, Sydney, Onyeka, Cassie, Nicole, and Caitlin. (Bummer for Hannah G., who doesn’t get any date this week.) The date is yet another excuse to get Colton shirtless—this time, it’s to work out.


PHOTO: Rick Rowell

Terry and Rebecca Crews are there to help Colton “find his strong woman.” Apparently they mean this literally—everyone’s working out, even Nicole who is doing her best.

After a few half-hearted pull-ups and some extreme stretching from Sydney, it’s time for a competition. First up, the women are tasked with pushing a 100-pound wedding cake down the aisle. Poor Nicole can’t even move it past the starting line. The second event is a ring toss, which is really just lifting a tractor tire. Last up, they strap a woman to a limo and ask her to pull it. It seems impossible, yet Caitlin, a very small woman, manages to do it. How?!? I’m genuinely impressed with this feat of strength, but somehow she doesn’t make it to the final three. This competition is rigged!

“I’m not the most athletic of the bunch…but I walk my dog!” —Nicole

At the after party, Colton has good moments with Tayshia, Nicole, Onyeka, and Cassie. But when it’s time to talk to Caitlin, she’s all, “I don’t have anything standing out in my life that I want to share right now, but today was great!” Colton asks what she’s looking for in a partner, and she says someone who can go out and be silly with her and her friends. “I’m happy to open up to you about that!” He pushes a little more, and she says she doesn’t know what to open up about because life has been so good. (Raise your hand if you’re feeling a lil bit jealous and maybe resentful of Caitlin right now. Imagine having a life filled with zero problems…). She can’t even answer his question about what a night with her family looks like. After struggling through this awkward conversation, Colton finally tells Caitlin he’s not feeling a spark. She leaves and on her way out complains that she’s the real one and the other girls are all fake. That may be, but at least they have more to talk about than being silly with friends.

The group date goes to my fave, Nicole.

The next day Chris Harrison arrives with a surprise: There’ll be a pool party instead of a cocktail party.

“You’re going to hang out all day, he’s going to have his shirt off!” —Chris Harrison

Sounds fun in theory—too bad Colton spends the whole day dealing with Hannah B. and Caelynn’s drama. Caelynn tells Colton Hannah B. is manipulative and deceitful; Hannah B. claims it’s the opposite. Colton doesn’t know who to believe because he likes them both. “Just freaking trust me,” Hannah says. Oh OK.

The other women are frustrated these two are eating up all of his time. He’s not happy about it either: Colton complains to the producers, and at one point even Chris Harrison steps in to see what’s going on. But when it comes time for the rose ceremony, Hannah B. gets a rose and is staying. (Caelynn, as well as Elyse and Nicole, had roses too.) The rest go to: Hannah G., Tayshia, Katie, Cassie, Kirpa, Sydney, Demi, Tracy, Courtney, Heather, and Onyeka. That means Catherine, Bri, and…Nina?—sorry, she had very little screen time!—are going home. See you next week!

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Women Are Sharing Pics of Their ‘Food Babies’ on Twitter

Food is delicious—and sometimes, it happens to trigger bloating in the stomach. There’s no shame in a “food baby,” as the effect is often nicknamed, but it’s not something we normally see talked about on social media. Considering that’s how we consume most images we see, though, it can make a food baby feel like a solitary experience. But let’s be real: It’s a relatable moment for many women—one of whom kicked off a huge stream of responses on Twitter over the weekend.

It began when London-based influencer Fatimah Waheeb sparked an online discussion after posting a photo of her “food baby” on Twitter with the caption, “i can’t be the only one that gets extremely bloated and starts imagining myself being pregnant??”

She then encouraged others to do the same. “If you do have bloated pics post them in the thread looool,” Waheeb wrote.

“I had just finished eating a bunch of wasabi while watching anime and I realized how bloated I was, and I thought it would be funny to share how bloated women can get,” she told Buzzfeed News. “I wasn’t that surprised because I know if I get extremely bloated loads of other women would too and it’s nice to know other women get as bloated as I do and pretend to be pregnant!”

She also posted a pic sans bloat because, of course, some trolls were asking her if she was actually pregnant.

The responses to her original post were as heartwarming as you’d expect. Because really, who among us hasn’t been there? For these women, seeing Waheeb’s post—and sharing about theirs—helps normalizes a common experience.

Waheeb loved the responses, tweeting, “I love the replies!! i’m so glad bloating is normalised, fuck anyone that said my bloating wasn’t normal lmao it very much is.”

Selena Gomez Threw Her Best Friend the Most Beautiful Bridal Shower

No matter how famous she gets—and she is, after all, a pop star and the former most-followed person on Instagram for two years running—Selena Gomez still makes the time to keep it real and kick back with some of her pre-fame best friends. Gomez makes trips back to Texas to catch up with the girls, whether it’s to invite them all to her pasta-themed birthday party on a yacht or get that ultimate signifier of a BFF bond: matching squad tattoos. And for her latest trip, over the weekend, she went all out for a very good reason. Gomez apparently helped throw Courtney Barry, one of her besties, a beautiful shower that was—luckily for us—documented on social media. The bride-to-be wrote on her own Instagram that “a few of my perfect girls threw me a perfect shower” along with a collage of Polaroid photos from the event where fans quickly spotted Gomez in a gorgeous red dress.

Also, wow, how gorgeous does the party look?

Fan accounts nabbed more footage from posts by other, less-famous guests at the shower.

To whoever decided on the ring pop flavors, we say, “Well done.”

Gomez and Barry go way back and have often posted about their squad’s escapades on social media.

And back to that one time they got tattoos: Gomez took the moment to expand on why exactly she and Barry will always be tight. “…My actual #1 @courtneyjbarry you are an incredible woman. The way you handle life’s most confusing moments is indescribable and graceful” she wrote. “You are moved by the littlest stories to the most heartbreaking ones, you will give someone your perfume if they say you smell nice, you are freaking hilarious and always stand firm in your faith, a loving sister, an amazing friend and a beautiful daughter. You are the definition of FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made baby! #1

We have a feeling this won’t be the last of the wedding festivities Gomez makes time for—and we can’t wait to see the pics.

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Mindy Kaling Is Done Feeling Guilty Over New Mom Expectations

When you’re pregnant, it easy to paint a perfect picture of what kind of mom you’re going to be—you’ll buy the best organic baby food, attend Mommy and Me classes religiously, and you’ll definitely be the kind of mom that never misses a milestone. But once your little bundle of joy arrives all those mommy expectations can seem like a distant memory. “I thought I would go into everything with a real source of like, deep Yoda knowledge about being a mom,” says Mindy Kaling, who became a first-time mom when her daughter Katherine was born in 2017. “That has not ended up being the case.”

All the expectations placed on new moms—breastfeed without complaining, look pretty (but don’t wear too much makeup), fill your Instagram feed with cute baby pics—can also be a major source of guilt. Even for Kaling. “I work with another mom on Four Weddings and a Funeral [coming to Hulu later this year] who has a one-year-old, and the thing that we always feel frustrated about is Mommy and Me classes always take place on like a Tuesday at 11 A.M.,” she says. As a working mom (albeit a very famous one), she can’t just ditch the office. “We just are never there. Getting over the guilt that I have to send someone else to take my child to a class that I’d like to go to is on-going,” she says, “but I’m kind of relieving myself of those guilty feelings. That has been my New Year’s resolution—moving forward it’s the kind of change I want to make for myself.”

On Instagram at least, Kaling seems like the type of mom who couldn’t possibly have anything to feel guilty over. The Ocean’s 8 star could give food bloggers a run for their money with her tutorials of homemade baby food (which, TBH, looks practically gourmet for someone who describes herself as “barely a cook”). “Because I work and I don’t get to cook a lot for her…I wanted to have it memorialized on Instagram so that everyone can see the few times I can actually do it,” she says with a laugh. “It’s for me, too! It makes me feel good and it’s really rewarding.”

Mindy Kaling/Instagram

Mindy Kaling/Instagram

Mindy Kaling/Instagram

IRL, she says, things don’t always look so ‘grammable. “I wish I could be one of those Instagram food stylists who spends three hours on Sunday preparing sweet potatoes and sautéing broccoli so they can make healthy bowls and put them in Tupperware,” she says (don’t we all.) “I’m just not that person and I’ll never be that person,” she says. Kaling, who is a Protein One ambassador, loves a good shortcut. “I throw a box of Protein One bars in my car or in my trailer so when it’s 11 P.M. and I’m working, I don’t go off the deep end and want to eat an entire pizza or have my assistant go and buy me a thing of cookie dough,” she says.

For Kaling, and so many other new moms, a parenting strategy that evolves on the fly shouldn’t be a source of guilt. “I read this book—and not to name drop, but it was given to me by Oprah—that talks a lot about how to be a conscious parent. I loved it,” she says. But it’s not always easy to keep up with. “When I go to bed at night, I’m like, ‘Oh, should I not have been having that conversation on the phone in front of her?’” Still, per her New Year’s resolution, Kaling isn’t letting herself lose sleep over it. “I just try to [say to myself], OK, I was sweet and patient with her and we spent a lot of quality time together, and I didn’t do anything that is shameful,” Kaling says. “I think my parenting strategy—and this is not at all what I anticipated—is just getting through each day.”

Reporting by Jessica Radloff

Chrissy Teigen Just Explained How She Moved In With John Legend, and It’s Classic Chrissy

On Sunday evening, Chrissy Teigen did the world (and all John-and-Chrissy shippers) a massive favor: She went on Twitter and, seemingly out of nowhere, posited a few question to the young daters of today. Along the way, she hilariously revealed how she and John Legend ended up living together, and it’s all so classic Chrissy.

The epic social media tea-and-sympathy sesh started off with an impromptu (but perfectly rational) query: “I haven’t dated for a long, long time but are guys really pulling the ‘let’s be exclusive’ thing 6 months into dating like what, I have been exclusive what the fuck have you been,” she wrote.

Fans quickly chimed in with some of their dating horror stories. Chrissy replied supportively (“oh man these stories. I don’t know how you guys are out there dating now. god bless you on your journey”) and then also took the time to crack a few jokes about her 12-year partnership with Legend.

When someone teased that her relationship question was “the worst John Legend subtweet ever,” she joked back with a laughing emoji and wrote, “12 years in and married ‘baby hey, I’m ready to be exclusive.'”

Next, a further glimpse into her previous romances—which, yep, is every bit as Chrissy as you might expect: “I didn’t date much. I moved in with people. like hello, I live here now. this is how John ended up in this situation.”

Honestly, crying. And, even if that is how things went down, it’s pretty clear Legend should be thanking her: Chrissy proved she’s in the running for best wife ever earlier this month when she threw him a crazy James Bond-themed 40th-birthday party and left him an adorable Instagram video tribute. So, y’know, it’s OK if she’s roasted him a little bit along the way.

Before she signed off yesterday, she made sure to leave a few heartfelt GIFS and jokes for some Twitter users recovering from playing the field.

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Kim Kardashian Throws Chicago West an ‘Alice in Wonderful’-Themed Birthday

Kim Kardashian and husband Kanye West‘s third child, Chicago West, just turned 1 on January 15—and you can bet the proud parents weren’t going to let that pass without an extravagant celebration.

“Guys, it’s Chicago’s first birthday party. Can you guys guess what the theme is?” Kardashian asks in a clip posted to her Instagram Stories. She then took her fans on a tour of her house, which was completely transformed for the party.

The Keeping Up with the Kardashians star threw a very, well, Kardashian Alice in Wonderland-themed party, complete with a crafts table and too many desserts to count. There was a cake decorated with Lewis Carroll’s Cheshire cat, as well as doughnuts, cake pops, cookies, macaroons, and chocolate-covered pretzels.

Check out some of the Instagram Stories Kardashian posted below from the big day, including guest appearances from Mary, Queen of Hearts, and Alice herself.

Life-sized chess set? Check. Indoor maze? But of course.

There were some frankly delicious-looking snacks.

And, of course, Kardashian shared an adorable clip of the birthday girl and her brother Saint.

Party guests included Kourtney Kardashian and her kids, Mason, 9, Penelope, 6, and Reign, 4, as well as Khloé Kardashian and her 9-month-old daughter, True. (Kylie Jenner wasn’t in attendance since she’s enjoying a vacation getaway with her family.)

Chrissy Teigen, John Legend, and their two kids, Luna and Miles were at the bash. Teigen also posted a bunch of Stories on her Instagram, plus a few actual Instagram posts, including this adorable mother-daughter shot. “Luna looking like she stole something. Happy birthday, Chicago!! Thank you for having us!!” she captioned the pic.

She also posted a few Stories from the party, which honestly give us a little FOMO:

Adorable? Over the top? We wouldn’t expect anything less from a milestone Kardashian bash.

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It Sure Looks Like Jessica Simpson Revealed Her Daughter’s Name at Her Baby Shower

Jessica Simpson, if you haven’t heard, is expecting baby number three—and on Saturday, January 19, there was a shower to help welcome the new one into the world. We assumed there’d be plenty of gifts there for the forthcoming newborn, but we didn’t expect Simpson to have one for us: the name of her baby girl.

The baby shower looked like it had a sort of bohemian woodland-fairy vibe, judging by the pics she posted on her Instagram of the event. Fittingly, Simpson wore a long white dress that she paired with a Game of Thrones meets spring goddess cape. The whole look was topped off, naturally, with a flower crown. Florals were everywhere else at the party too, from the wallpaper print and arrangements to the guests, who came wearing dresses in floral prints or embellished with appliqués. And, yes, everyone had their own flower crowns.

But among all the flora and greenery, there was one telling detail that might hint at her daughter’s name: Against the backdrop where Simpson and her guests stood to post for photos, a sign hung down saying “Birdie’s Nest.” It seems like Birdie might just be the name of her forthcoming daughter, no?

It seems that might actually be the case: A source confirmed to Us Weekly that “Birdie” is indeed the name of the baby-to-be. Of course, we won’t know for sure until we hear from Simpson herself. Until then, major congrats to her (and whoever made this party happen, because it’s seriously gorgeous).

And yes, the rest of the shots from the party were just as beautiful. Check out the rest of the pics, below:

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Sarah Jessica Parker Just Brought Carrie Bradshaw Back, and We’re So Here for It

Hold onto your Manolos: Sarah Jessica Parker just teased the return of her Sex and the City character, Carrie Bradshaw, in an Instagram video.

On Saturday, the actress Saturday, January 19, by sharing a video of herself in character strutting up the streets of New York City in a nod to the iconic SATC intro. The brief clip—which was even set to the SATC theme—features SJP in a very Carrie-meets-vintage-Madonna outfit: a pair of white lace heels, gloves, seafoam tulle skirt, purple beaded clutch.

In the video’s caption, SJP confirmed that her beloved character is back for an important reason. “My old friend. She is making a brief reappearance. Partnering with a great brand and supporting a cause we all care about. More to come. X, SJ,” Parker wrote.

You can check it out the video for yourself below:

If you think you’re excited, even Andy Cohen and Katherine Schwarzenegger couldn’t contain their excitement in the comments section, with Cohen writing “I <3 CB” and Schwarzenegger commenting “omg omg omg.”

After all the recent drama surrounding the show, we never thought we’d see Carrie again outside of our insomnia-driven/hungover/lazy Saturday/let’s-face-it-whenever SATC binges. Unfortunately, however, this definitely isn’t a promo for a Sex and the City 3 since it’s been confirmed that the movie isn’t going to happen. There were once, after all, rumors of a three-quel for a while now, but those hopes and dreams are no more. In all likelihood, from what her caption indicates, it’s a preview of an upcoming brand partnership—one with a social responsibility angle, maybe?—that will feature SJP in character as Carrie—and well, we’ll definitely be happy with that.

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Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Speaks at 2019 Women’s March in New York City

Thousands of people throughout the United States and around the world took to the streets on Saturday, January 19, for the third annual Women’s March. Equipped with powerful signs and posters, marchers raised their voices in support of equal rights, healthcare, and social justice. The theme of justice echoed throughout the New York City march, where Rep. Alexandria-Ocasio Cortez addressed the crowd.

Ocasio-Cortez’s compelling speech began by noting that the third annual Women’s March was taking place just before Martin Luther King Jr. Day, something that she doesn’t think is a coincidence. “I believe this moment and where we are right now is a resurgence from where the Civil Rights Movement left off,” Ocasio-Cortez said. “We are here to carry the torch forward, because when we talked about racial and economic justice, racial and social justice, we started to really extend those issues to the issues of economic justice, environmental justice, and the intersectionality and interconnectedness of all of our fights.”

She went on to talk further about the concept of justice, using a powerful refrain to drive the notion home to the crowd. “Justice is not a concept we read about in a book,” she reminded the marchers. “Justice is about the water we drink. Justice is about the air we breathe. Justice is about how easy it is to vote. Justice is about how much ladies get paid…. Justice is about making sure that being polite is not the same thing as being quiet. In fact, often times, the most righteous thing you can do is shake the table.”

In addition to talking about the pursuit of justice, Ocasio-Cortez honed in on some of the political goals ahead: taking back the Senate and the White House. “We need to advance and fight for an America where all people are welcome and no people are left behind,” she said. “And I know that while this year has been historic, there’s a lot more congresswomen left here in this audience right now. There’s a lot more city council women…and I know that there’s a future president out here too.”

Just as powerfully as her speech began, Ocasio-Cortez ended on a poignant note, touching upon some of the serious issues that Americans have faced over recent years and incorporating hope for a better tomorrow. “This is the time we’re gonna address poverty,” the politician promised. “This is the time we’re gonna address Flint. This is the time we’re gonna talk about Baltimore and the Bronx and wildfires and Puerto Rico. This is not just about identity; this is about justice, and this is about the America that we’re going to bring into this world.”

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Want more from Teen Vogue? Check this out: People Love Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Even More After Dance Video Meant to Shame Her

11 TV Shows and Movies to Watch the Week of January 20, 2019

The midseason return of several TV shows are happening this week, from Supergirl to Charmed and everyone’s favorite series that once starred Meghan Markle, Suits. Unfortunately, though, some of these shows are returning for the last time. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is closing up shop after these last few episodes, as is Broad City, so get in this comedy gold while you can.

Below, all the TV shows and movies to check out this week:

Supergirl: New episodes of season four return tonight. 8 P.M. ET on The CW

Charmed: As does the first season of the Charmed reboot, which boasts a more inclusive cast and progressive storylines. 9 P.M. ET on The CW

Celebrity Big Brother: Housemates include Kato Kaelin, Ryan Lochte, Dina Lohan, Joey Lawrence, and Anthony Scaramucci. 8 P.M. ET on CBS

Corporate: This new-ish 30-minute TV show centers on two employees of a large conglomerate company who find their jobs unbearable. Tonight’s episode features YouTuber and comedian Chris Fleming. 10:30 P.M. ET on Comedy Central

Siesta Key: This show was my obsession when it first premiered, and luckily it’s coming back for more beachside shenanigans. Beautiful rich people fighting is truly my favorite thing. 9 P.M. ET on MTV

Suits: Unfortunately, Meghan Markle isn’t returning (as rumored), but it’s still an addicting show. 10 P.M. ET on USA

Broad City: Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson have been making us laugh for four seasons, but sadly the beginning of the end is tonight. 10 P.M. ET on Comedy Central

The Other Two: Two adult siblings (Heléne Yorke and Drew Tarver) are thrown for the biggest loop when their 13-year-old brother becomes famous overnight. What happens when you’re literally, well, the other two siblings? (Do you understand the title now?) 10:30 P.M. ET on Comedy Central

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: I’m so upset about these final episodes that I’ve been streaming the original theme song for hours. Streaming on Netflix

We are Marshall: This beloved 2006 sports drama starring Matthew McConaughey is leaving Hulu in February, so get your weep on now. Leaving Hulu in February

The Project Runway trailer: Check out the brand-new teaser for Bravo’s Project Runway reboot, featuring Karlie Kloss as the host and Christian Siriano, Nina Garcia, and former Teen Vogue editor Elaine Welteroth as judges. Follow the show on Instagram here.

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