Chrissy Metz Is Finally Doing Whatever She Wants

After years of feeling insecure about it, Chrissy Metz finally wore a swimsuit on vacation. “I grew up wearing a T-shirt at the pool. As an adult, I was like, I’m gonna find a bathing suit I like and I’m gonna wear it,” she tells me from the driver’s seat of her Audi SUV, which we’re sitting in to escape the Los Angeles heat. “And there were people, like, ‘Oh my God, look at you! You know I could never do that.’ ” She laughs. “It’s a backhanded compliment, but I’m doing what I want to do.”

Metz’s newfound do-what-I-want mentality has been 38 years in the making. Born in Homestead, Florida, she spent her early years in Japan with her mother, older brother and sister, and father, who worked at a bar off the Yokosuka Navy base. Her parents divorced, and her mom planted the family back in Florida. After years of struggle—“our electricity was shut off a lot,” she revealed in her memoir, This Is Me—they moved in with her mom’s soon-to-be new husband Trigger, who would weigh Metz in their kitchen. (Trigger has denied this, telling Entertainment Tonight, “None of it’s true…. I love her very much just like I always have.”)

At 20, while chaperoning her younger sister Morgana to a modeling casting call, Metz caught the eye of a talent scout. She moved to L.A. in 2005 and spent nine years working as a talent agent (her clients included a young Ariana Grande) before landing a small part in American Horror Story: Freak Show. But the acting offers were few and far between; Metz reached a breaking point in fall 2015 with only 81 cents in her bank account. “There were a couple weeks when I was like, Chrissy, you’re delusional,” she recalls. “I just remember holding on to something I couldn’t really see but I knew was there deep, deep down. And then it sort of all just happened.”

It happened in the form of This Is Us, which has earned Metz both Emmy and Golden Globe nominations. As Kate Pearson, she’s one of the most complex characters on prime-time TV and teaches us to have empathy for Kate’s anxieties about things like dancing at parties or fitting into airplane seats. This Is Us also presents Kate as a fully realized character: Last season saw her grappling with a miscarriage, her father’s death, and growing pains with her fiancé, Toby (Chris Sullivan). “People who’ve never been overweight don’t understand what it all entails. They think you’re just sitting in the corner and all you do is eat,” she says. “My thing is, Let’s get to the real issues—because the food is the symptom; it’s not the issue. Everyone’s filling a void with something.”

For Metz, that void was all about boundaries. “There are so many times in my life that I didn’t express how I felt,” she says. “Now I really try to remember, OK, Chrissy, this is your life, and you are entitled to do what you want.” In March she revealed she and her boyfriend of almost two years, a former cameraman on the show, broke up. She’s since gone on a handful of dates and has even tried the apps—“I don’t know if people genuinely like me or the lifestyle or who they think I am,” she says—but doesn’t always pick the right guys. “I’m sort of discovering that I attract people who are broken,” she says. “It’s tricky, but I wear my heart on my sleeve.”

Tanya Taylor custom dress, $550.

This authenticity is the first thing people notice about Metz. “I trusted her immediately,” says Justin Hartley, who plays Kate’s brother Kevin, “and I don’t trust anyone immediately.” When I ask co-showrunner Elizabeth Berger what it’s like to work with Metz, she immediately mentions her heart. “Chrissy loves and feels the show deeply, and you can feel it in every interaction she has on set,” she says. It’s led Berger and her team to try to weave Metz’s personal interests, like singing, into Kate’s storylines. Music is a huge passion, and she hopes to release an album down the line. “I really want to do maybe some pop-country or country,” Metz says. “I would love to produce some film, maybe eventually be in a musical and have a production company.”

For now, she’s busy acting. Up next is Breakthrough, in which she’ll play a mom who uses prayer to resuscitate her son. The film, based on a true story, is one of Metz’s first projects that has nothing to do with weight—something she hopes keeps happening. “People are still surprised that a big girl could be on TV, and it’s like, Ugh, really? Really?” she says. “There’s so much other stuff to talk about.”

Glamour’s November 2018 Cover Stars: Chrissy Metz, Mandy Moore, Susan Kelechi Watson

Ever since the award-winning NBC drama This Is Us hit TV screens two years ago, audiences have remained unshakably captivated by the series. The reason? Aside from its tense storyline and an ability to give its audience a dependable, cathartic cry each week, the show brings with it a certain authenticity, thanks in large part to its characters—specifically its female characters—and the actresses that bring them to life. Led by Mandy Moore, Chrissy Metz, and Susan Kelechi Watson, the show’s female cast has had a pop cultural influence that extends far beyond the small screen—which made the trio the perfect stars for our November cover.

November Cover

PHOTO: Captured on Google Pixel 3, photo by Victor Demarchelier

Now in their third season of the hit series, Metz, Moore and Watson have tackled a wide range of complex issues that deeply resonate with female viewers today. Metz’s character Kate Pearson, for instance, has grappled with fertility issues, undergoing IVF consultations and even experiencing a heartbreaking miscarriage in the show’s second season, while Moore’s Rebecca struggles with feelings of postpartum depression when she first brings her newborns home from the hospital. Susan Kelechi Watson’s performance as Beth Pearson in the show resonated so strongly with viewers that, when rumors of her character possibly being killed off of the show began circulating, the Twitterverse nearly imploded. But, as Watson explains in her interview with Glamour, its the audience’s emotional attachment to her character that makes the story feel so important. “It’s always really cool as an actor to have a character that people want to see the best for,” she told Ramou Sarr. “To know that people are behind her, to know that people are rocking with her and get her.”

Rarely does a TV cast have such an impact, but these three women are definitively moving the needle forward when it comes to the stories being told on the small screen, and the women who are able to tell them. “I couldn’t be more grateful to be on this journey with these two ladies,” Moore told Glamour of her two costars. “I stand in awe of their power as women and everything they bring to the table.”

Well, so do we.

Catch all three of our cover stars on This Is Us, Tuesdays on NBC.

Kate Middleton and Prince William Made Their First Joint Appearance Since Welcoming Prince Louis

Prince William and Kate Middleton are back on the royal circuit for the first time since the birth of Prince Louis, and they’re doing it for a good cause. The pair’s first joint engagement since the birth of their third child in April was for the inaugural Global Ministerial Mental Health Summit, according to People. The initiative was launched to help raise awareness of mental health issues around the world.

Middleton looked absolutely radiant in a lilac Emilia Wickstead dress, which People points out, she previously wore last year in Germany. The recycled dress was fitting for the occasion, which saw the couple show off their artistic sides by painting with the Colombian artist Dairo Vargas. While inside the meeting, which took place at County Hall on the south banks of the River Thames in London, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge also listened to presentations that detailed the work of mental health programs in both Slovenia and the U.S., People reports.

Kate Middleton and Prince William Step Out for First Joint Engagement Since Prince Louis' Birth 1

PHOTO: Karwai Tang/Getty Images

Kate Middleton and Prince William Step Out for First Joint Engagement Since Prince Louis' Birth 2

PHOTO: WPA Pool/Getty Images

It’s a cause that’s clearly close to their hearts, as Prince William recently spoke about mental health in the workplace, and how his own work as a first responder affected him. “I took a lot home without realizing it,” he said at a mental health event in Bristol, according to People. “You see [so] many sad things every day that you think life is like that.” Middleton meanwhile, joined students at an outdoor recreation center last week, where she listened to teachers explain the value of being around nature and how it can help children’s mental health and development, People reports.

Kate Middleton and Prince William Step Out for First Joint Engagement Since Prince Louis' Birth 3

PHOTO: WPA Pool/Getty Images

Middleton and Prince William have been doing their part to spread mental health awareness in recent years, after they joined forces with Prince Harry in 2016 to launch the Heads Together campaign. Fittingly, the couple’s most recent outing came one day ahead of World Mental Health Day.

Related Stories:

Kate Middleton Is Back From Maternity Leave, and the Photos Are Worth the Wait

Keira Knightley Criticizes the Expectations Set on Kate Middleton After Giving Birth

The Weeknd Wished Bella Hadid Happy Birthday With a PDA-Heavy Instagram

If there are still any lingering questions about whether Bella Hadid and The Weeknd are back together, this new Instagram should clear things up. After sparking rumors of a reunion by appearing together at New York Fashion Week and Cannes, the on-again-off-again couple are most certainly on again, after The Weeknd (whose real name is Abel Tesfaye) posted a romantic series of photos featuring himself and Hadid, in honor of the model’s 22nd birthday.

The photo set begins with a video of the couple passionately making out, a theme that continues throughout the series. There’s a shot of them sitting courtside at a basketball game and another of them holding microphones for what looks like a karaoke session. There’s even a picture of the notoriously private couple in which Tesfaye is sitting beside Hadid as she lays in a bathtub filled with rose petals.

Tesfaye captioned the PDA-filled Instagram post with the message “happy birthday Angel,” followed by a pair of heart emojis. The couple first split in 2016 after a year and a half of dating, according to People. Tesfaye then embarked on a whirlwind romance with Selena Gomez, which ended last year. Things between Tesfaye and Hadid appeared to be heating up again after People reported that they were “all over each other,” “sitting in each other’s laps,” and “definitely looked like they were fully back together” at Coachella this year. But Hadid shot down that report when she commented on an E! News report of the gossip. “It wasn’t me,” she wrote at the time.

Now, after months of speculation, there seems to be no question that Tesfaye and Hadid are a couple once more. But, if you’re expecting a statement from their publicists confirming the rekindling of their romance, don’t hold your breath. These two now seem to be “Instagram official,” which in 2018, is really all that counts.

How to Fix Game of Thrones, According to Phoebe Robinson

After binge-watching seven seasons of Game of Thrones last spring, I had a lot of thoughts. Like, will Jon Snow (Kit Harington and his lover/aunt Daenerys (a.k.a. Khaleesi, played by Emilia Clarke ever realize they’re related? Will Cersei (Lena Headey) admit her haircut is hideous? And most important, is there anyone who can get Daenerys and Cersei to stop fighting like a coupla wine-drunk Housewives? Then it hit me: Of course there is. Her name is Cocoa Khaleesi, and she’s the dopest black queen this side of whitey-white Westeros. This is her (and my story.

One evening, after Jon Snow and Daenerys go to the bone zone, Jon wants to talk.

“Babe,” he whispers. “We have to acknowledge the fact that the White Walkers and their army of undead ­zombie freaks are coming.”

“I know,” she says sadly.

“You don’t trust Cersei,” Jon continues, “and she doesn’t trust you. But if you two don’t work together, all of this”—he gestures to the Seven Kingdoms—“is gone. Everything you’ve worked for: my coming back to life. Us. None of it will matter.”

She sighs. “I can do this without her. Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do,” he lies.

“Good,” she says and settles back onto her pillow.

Eventually Daenerys falls asleep. Jon steps out of bed and grabs a notebook that’s been tucked under a pillow. He flips through it and finds the ad he’s saved: “The best therapist in the Seven Kingdoms.” He smiles.

The camera cuts to Jon draped in a thick fur coat, standing on a boat as he crosses the sea. After many hours he arrives at a beach. He ties up his boat and surveys the massive mansion before him. It’s a stunning structure with ornate sculptures out front. Michael B. Jordan–looking men stand guard. Jon approaches.

“I’m looking for—”

Before he can finish, the men direct him inside.

It looks like a Solange music video, with gorgeous, unitard-clad black women everywhere. Jon knocks on a door and cracks it open to find a woman behind a regal desk inside.

“Come in!” a voice says dramatically. “I am Phoebe, House of Robinson, the best therapist in the Seven Kingdoms. You may call me Cocoa Khaleesi.”

“Cocoa Khaleesi, I need your help—” he begins.

“I’ve been expecting you. Your homeboy Ser Davos told me everything,” she says. “That dude really likes to gab. You should probably keep an eye on him. Anyway, I’ll do my best to help. Let’s go.”

The camera follows Jon and Cocoa Khaleesi as they return to the island of Dragonstone. After some finagling by Tyrion, ­Cersei and Daenerys agree to sit down with this mysterious newcomer for dinner, where a decadent spread lies before them. A servant piles a plate with food and places it in front of Cocoa Khaleesi.

“Is this seasoned?” she asks her hosts.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Daenerys says.

“White nonsense,” Cocoa Khaleesi mumbles while pushing the plate away.

“Is there something you’d like to say?” Cersei asks. Her tone is hostile.

“SEASONING. Salt. Pepper. Heard of them?”

“Ah, I heard you were clever,” ­Cersei says. “Would be a shame if this Cocoa Khaleesi got turned into…No-Tongue Khaleesi.”

There is an awkward silence.

“Don’t worry. She always threatens to cut out someone’s tongue. So predictable,” Daenerys says to Cocoa Khaleesi. Then, without prompting, “I am Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi to Drogo’s riders—”

“Girl, ain’t nobody trying to hear that no more,” Cocoa Khaleesi says.

Cersei laughs. “Thank you!”

“Calm down! I ain’t on your side either,” she says. “You’re just as bad. That haircut makes you look like a low-budget Tinkerbell from Hook.”

Cersei slowly stands. “I’m not sure where you’re from, but blatant disrespect is frowned upon here, especially in my presence.”

“Well, that certainly explains your face,” Daenerys says.

Fed up, Cocoa Khaleesi snaps. “ENOUGH of this incessant bickering! White Khaleesi, girl, you may not know it, but you’re smashing your nephew. That’s trifling as hell. And Cersei, you’ve been in love with your brother since puberty. You two have waaaay too much in common to be enemies.”

The two warring women stare at each other with intent, then put down their forks.

The camera cuts to Daenerys and Cersei, taking on a sea of zombies as a united front. Back at the mansion, Cocoa Khaleesi hangs up her crown and puts her feet up on her desk. A few of those Michael B. ­Jordan fellas enter holding champagne flutes.

THE END.

Phoebe Robinson’s latest collection of essays, Everything’s Trash, but It’s Okay, is out October 16. Pre-order it here.

PS: You can join Phoebe Robinson, Awkwafina, and more inspiring women for two days of community building and empowerment at Glamour’s annual Women of the Year Summit. Get tickets here!

Alexis Ohanian Calls Out the Double Standard on Anger Between Serena Williams and Brett Kavanaugh

If you’re a woman, you’re already familiar with the double standards applied to us when it comes to expressing emotions. If you’re a woman of color, you know it’s even more egregious.

Alexis Ohanian, Reddit co-founder and husband to Serena Williams, called out that double standard in a Twitter thread, while also proving yet again that he wins at being the most supportive husband ever. Ohanian first responded to a tweet from Deborah Barros that said, “Funny how a black female tennis player is held to a higher standard to keep her emotions in check than a Supreme Court nominee.”

His comment was short and to the point, “It’s not funny, it’s bullshit.” (Williams, of course, was very publicly criticized by some for showing frustration over a number of questionable calls during her U.S. Open finals match against Naomi Osaka last month.)

But he wasn’t quite finished making his point and proceeded to get specific about the behaviors exhibited by Brett Kavanaugh in his testimony surrounding the sexual assault allegations made against him by Christine Blasey Ford. “Played the ‘father card’,” Ohanian continued. “Cried & screamed + Insulted everyone’s intelligence with lies about the definitions of phrases anyone with Google could debunk + Argued hysterically with sitting Senators, even going so far as to threaten them.”

“If you’re going to be a Supreme Court Justice — a job that requires maintaining sober judgement, it shouldn’t matter what questions you have to answer in your job interview, you keep it together.”

Kavanaugh did indeed cry, yell, and take a fairly menacing approach to being questioned on certain topics. So much so that he (or perhaps the GOP) felt something of a public mea culpa was necessary before the final vote in a Wall Street Journal op-ed.

“I was very emotional last Thursday, more so than I have ever been. I might have been too emotional at times,” he wrote. “I know that my tone was sharp, and I said a few things I should not have said. I hope everyone can understand that I was there as a son, husband and dad. I testified with five people foremost in my mind: my mom, my dad, my wife, and most of all my daughters.”

These are the kind of arguments that society-at-large considers valid for men—not so much for women. Good on Ohanian for calling it out!

MORE: Christine Blasey Ford Is Still Receiving Death Threats, Unable to Return Home After Kavanaugh Confirmation

Busy Philipps Says James Franco Physically Assaulted Her on the Set of Freaks and Geeks

In her new memoir, This Will Only Hurt a Little, Busy Philipps alleges she was physically assaulted by James Franco — whom she calls a “f*cking bully” — on the set of Freaks and Geeks.

According to an excerpt first obtained by Radar Online, Philipps claims that she and Franco were shooting a scene in which the actress says she was directed to “lightly hit Franco in the chest” while delivering a line. In response to the action, she says he broke character and lunged at her.

“He grabbed both my arms and screamed in my face, ‘DON’T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!’” she claims in the book, per Radar Online. “And he threw me to the ground. Flat on my back. Wind knocked out of me.”

She writes that he then stormed off and the crew was left to help her up. She says she sobbed to costar Linda Cardellini, who reportedly urged her to call her manager. The next day, she says Franco apologized, after he was reportedly ordered to, but he apparently never received any consequences for his actions, Radar Online reported.

Fall 2018 Nail Polish Ideas: Shades of Green

The most exciting Fall 2018 nail color is one you’ve probably never thought to grab off the polish wall: Green in all its variations. The shade has been permeating Instagram leading up to autumn, and there are a handful of particular shades that seem to be the most popular, from mossy forest green to Nickelodeon-level slime green.

We could have the runways to thank: Verdant greens gained steam last season thanks to designers including Tom Ford, Valentino, Sonia Rykiel and it continued during this past fashion month at Prada, Miu Miu and Maryam Nassir Zadeh.

But—because not everyone can or wants to rock a neon green Versace suit like Blake Lively—the color trend made its way into beauty. First it was through hair, when celebrities like SZA, Kim Kardashian and Dua Lipa went for bright shades, then it trickled down to nails, which is decidedly less noticeable but just as cool, as evidenced by Instagram:

Green nails look good running through your hair. They also look good while holding broccoli. As evidenced by pop star Kim Petras, neon green nail polish is so powerful it can even make a french tip cool again. It’s is also a great way to add color to an outfit without overdoing it. Plus, uploading a picture of your green nail manicure means you have an excuse to caption it with every green emoji possible. Finally, the T. Rex and Kiwi emoji can get the respect they deserve. Shop below for the best green nail polish shades for fall 2018.

Photo: OPI

Buy It: OPI Infinite Nail Polish in To The Finish Lime!, $12.50, Amazon

PHOTO: Nordstrom

Buy It: CHANEL Le Vernis Longwear Nail Color in 536 Emeraude, $28, Nordstrom

PHOTO: Zoya

Buy It: Zoya Nail Polish in Jace, $10, Amazon

Photo: Barney’s

Buy It: Jin Soon Nail Polish in Epidote, $18, Barney’s

Photo: Bergdorf Goodman

Buy It: Smith & Cult Nailed Lacquer in Darjeeling Darlin, $18, Bergdorf Goodman

Photo: Target

Buy It: Essie Nail Polish in Off-Tropic, $8.99, Target

Photo: Amazon

Buy It: Essie in Mojito madness, $9, Amazon

Photo: Nordstrom

Buy It: Christian Louboutin ‘The Noirs’ Nail Color in Zermadame, $50, Nordstrom

Photo: Need Supply

Buy It: J Hannah Nail Polish in Artichoke, $18, Need Supply

Photo: Urban Outfitters

Buy It: UO Classics Colletion Nail Polish in Envy, $5 (and 3 for $10), Urban Outfitters

Photo: Bloomingdales

Buy It: Oribe The Lacquer High Shine Nail Polish in Green Envy, $32, Bloomingdales

Photo: Bloomingdales

Buy It: Deborah Lippmann Shimmer Nail Polish in Laughin’ To The Bank, $18, Bloomingdales

Photo: Amazon

Buy It: Essie Slick Oil Paints in Jade in Manhattan, $9, Amazon

Dakota Johnson Responds to Rumors She’s Expecting a Baby With Chris Martin

Only a few days after Dakota Johnson finally acknowledged her almost one-year-long relationship with Chris Martin, the pair has become the subject of rumors that they’re expecting their first child together.

On Sunday afternoon, according to TMZ, Martin appeared to be hosting a party in his backyard. The star-studded guest list reportedly included Johnson’s parents, Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, Sean Penn, and Julia Roberts, among others. Perhaps most telling of all were the massive pink and blue balloon arches that reached high above Martin’s hedges. At one point during the party, as seen in paparazzi photos taken near the house, the blue arch appeared to come undone and shot straight up into the sky; though TMZ concludes that that must signify some sort of dramatic gender reveal, it seems much more likely that the balloon arch simply came untied.

In a statement to People on Monday, however, Johnson’s rep denied the reports, claiming that the party was actually a birthday celebration for the Fifty Shades star, who turned 29 on October 4.

Meanwhile, the Coldplay frontman is already father to 14-year-old daughter Apple and 12-year-old son Moses with ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow, who has continued to praise Martin’s parenting skills in the years since their split. On Father’s Day this year, she posted a photo of her ex with their two children, calling him “a ray of sunshine.” And in honor of the same holiday in 2015, she shared another photo of Martin with Apple, toasting him with, “Here is to all the engaged and present fathers, you create a backbone for society.”

Johnson and Martin have been dating since last fall, when they were first spotted spending time together during a dinner date in Los Angeles, and then, shortly after, at a Coldplay concert in Argentina. Since then, they’ve traveled all over the world together, attended Hollywood parties as each other’s plus-ones, and, sometime in the last month or two, apparently got matching infinity symbol tattoos.

Though the pair have stayed remarkably tight-lipped about the status of their relationship, Johnson did finally seem to at least confirm that it’s a thing in her cover interview for the November 2018 issue of Tatler. “I’m not going to talk about it, but I am very happy,” she admitted. At this rate, even if Johnson and Martin were expecting, we probably would have no idea until we actually saw a baby.

Related: Confessions from Fifty Shades‘s Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson

DJ Lindsey Caldwell: What It Costs to Be Me

These days it’s nearly impossible to know what women are spending on the way they look. Someone with Instagram-flawless contouring might have honed her craft using the finest from the drugstore aisles, and the utterly makeup-free type might be spending thousands on laser treatments or face serums. Enter our series “What It Costs to Be Me,” where we’re asking interesting women for radical transparency.

Up this week: Lindsey Caldwell, DJ and mother of two from Long Island, New York. Her annual total? $3,673.50

DJ Lindsey Caldwell may well be DJ royalty. She’s spun her soulful, eclectic mix of classics and hits for everyone from Iman to the great late Prince. But she isn’t afraid to keep it real when it comes to the challenges of her life/work balancing act, especially when it comes to self-care: “My focus has changed for sure after having kids; it’s got even more difficult to keep organized—and moisturized,” says Caldwell. “Mom guilt is real, and the pull to be the best mom and wife is intensely stronger than it is to do anything for yourself.” Caldwell’s wellness and beauty priorities right now are about life-improving strategies that don’t cost much: meditation, a beloved weekly workout, a failsafe hair routine she’s got down to a science, some super chic (and time-saving) head wraps—and above all else, slowing down.

My simple morning skin care routine: $147

I use a basic cotton washcloth (a clean one every day) with Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cleanser ($20). That’s typically enough exfoliating for my face. For my body, I use Savon de Marseille soap ($8). After I wash, I moisturize my face with Kiehl’s Hydro-Plumping Re-Texturizing Serum Concentrate ($59) and Kiehl’s Rosa Arctica Lightweight Cream ($60). I also drink an obnoxious amount of water every day. And I go out of my way to eat more fruits and vegetables than anything else.

My evening wind-down ritual: $47

At night I use my Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cleanser again and the brand’s Midnight Recovery Concentrate ($47). If my skin is particularly dry, I use my Rosa Arctica Lightweight Moisturizer again too. I also tie my hair down every night with a silk scarf to prevent breakage, tangling, and frizz.

My daytime makeup: $126

During the day, I wear a simple black eyeliner, usually whatever cheap-o eyeliner pen I’ve gotten from Ricky’s or the drugstore. The one I have now is from NYX ($9.50). I keep three lipsticks in rotation: NARS Schiap ($28), NARS Heat Wave ($28), and Mac Lady Danger ($18.50). I brush on a little Milk Makeup Kush Fiber Brow Gel in Dutch ($18), and I use Mac Cream Color Base in Improper Copper ($24) as a highlighter if I’m feeling fancy.

My DJ makeup: $280

If I’m DJ’ing, I’ll sometimes do my whole face. I use almost all MAC. After I moisturize, I apply Face and Body Foundation ($30), concealer in NC45 ($24), then Mineralize Skin Finish in both Dark Deep and Dark ($34 each), my Improper Copper highlighter, eyeliner, brows, and a lip. I use all MAC brushes—eyebrow ($20), shadow ($32), powder ($42), and foundation ($35).

Mascara kind of bugs out my eyes, so I only use a Sephora lash curler ($15). I really have to be doing something extra-fancy to put on fake lashes. They make me feel like I have palm tree fronds on my eyes. But if I am going to wear them, I’ll just get whatever new fake lashes they have at Sephora ($14) that are easy to apply. I love trying new stuff; my husband always laughs at me.

My chill-out bath routine and body products: $56

I live in my bathtub. I keep it pretty simple: I use epsom salt ($5) with NOW essential oils, usually lavender ($8). I love that brand, because its oils are usually cheaper. I’m also dying to try CBD oil soaks, but I’m waiting until after I finish breastfeeding to get into that territory.

For my body, I use Everyone Lotion ($11), which I also use on my son Henry. We like to mix it up with the scents; sometimes coconut, sometimes mint. In problem areas like my heels and cuticles, I use Ouai Rose Hair and Body Oil ($32). A good friend recommended it, and it’s the only thing that isn’t Aquaphor that gets ashy skin right. It’s a very light oil and way less messy than other things I’ve tried.

My spirit-lifting scents: $397

I love clearing the air with sage ($10) or palo santo ($7). It’s part of the whole experience when I take a bath or if I’m about to meditate. If I don’t have time for a bath, I’ll sometimes put a few drops of essential oil on the shower drain.

We love Diptyque candles ($65 each): Right now we have Santal and Tubereuse in our living room, the grass-scented one in the bathroom, Menthe Vert in the kitchen, and the Baies black currant candle. And then we have nepali rope ($8), Murray and Lanman Florida Water ($8), sweetgrass ($15), essential oils, and rose water ($24)—all that witchy stuff. I get it all on Amazon.

When I walk into my house I want it to smell a certain way, and that in and of itself is calming to me. We even lined the walkway to our old house with lavender for that purpose. Even when there are giant plastic toys all over the place, and I step on a Lego or two, the scents help me stay a little more decompressed.

My weekly hair routine: $175.50

Here’s what I do for wash day, which is once a week: I use 3-inch butterfly hair clips ($3) and a wide toothed comb ($3) to section and clip up my hair. Then I cleanse and detangle my hair in sections with Devacurl No Poo Decadence ($22), twisting each clean detangled hair section into a little bantu knot with Hair Rules Quench Conditioner ($22) as I go. Then once it’s all detangled, I rinse out the conditioner and get out of the shower.

If I’m styling my hair into a wash-and-go, I use Kinky-Curly Knot Today ($12) as a leave-in and then nearly a third of the jar of KeraCare Clear Protein Styling Gel ($17) to capture my curl pattern. Then I go sit under a hood dryer ($40) for the rest of my life—just kidding, for like one or two hours. Usually that gets interrupted and it air dries the rest of the way because…kids.

I also wear a head wrap a few times a week to give my hair a break from all the styling products. I love The Wrap Life head wraps ( $26) because there are so many different ways to wear them. On days I have them on, I leave my hair in twists and work in Giovanni Direct Leave-In Weightless Moisture Conditioner ($9) after my shower, then put my own grapeseed oil ($6) and rosemary essential oil ($6.50) mixture on my scalp. My scalp is always itchy and dry—it’s just the nature of my hair—and this blend helps soothe and smells so good. And if my hairline is showing, I use Design Essentials Sleek Max Strength Edge Control ($9) with a toothbrush to lay my edges. My hair does what it wants, so I need that extra hold.

My special occasion hair looks: roughly $640 a year

I get braids around two to three times a year—usually whenever I don’t want deal with my hair and would rather focus on the music for big gigs. The only downside is that they’re not always gentle on your hair and some places have really torn out my edges. So when I do get them, I invest. My braider Inna is super gentle—plus, she’s done hair for Beyoncé! My last style, box braids inspired by Rihanna’s 2015 cover of i-D, cost about $200.

I also used to buy a lot of wigs when I had time to mess around with them. They’re a fun and quick solution, because a weave is like the worst torture ever. And if you get good human hair, sew-ins can cost up to $1,000 or more—another reason I don’t usually get them. I prefer the freedom of a wig: I can take it off at night, shake it out, and put it on the shelf. If I want a cheap, trendy one, I’ll go on elevatestyles.com, where they have super-cheap synthetic wigs. I’ll find the name of a few I think are cute, then go on YouTube to read reviews for the full tea on each one. From there, I’ll narrow it down to one that’s about $40, has minimal shedding, and by then I have all the cheats for how to make it look more natural. If I want to spring for one that’s expensive, I go to evawigs.com. Usually they have a picture of a celebrity, and you can buy a similar wig. They can also custom-make wigs, which cost about $500.

My quarterly hair cuts: $600 a year

I do really love changing my hair, but I care way more about keeping it healthy. Before I had kids, I used to go to H2 Salon Brooklyn once a week to get my hair done. Now I go every three months to get my ends trimmed, get a deep condition, and to kiki with them because it’s so fun in there and the owner programs the best music. I usually go to Char. She always suggests style changes to keep things exciting but manageable and healthy. It costs around $150, plus tip, depending on what I get done.

My exercise regimen: $780 a year

Every Monday at 10 A.M. I do my pilates class on Google Hangouts with Lisa Schoenholt at Brooklyn Embodied ($15 a class). She’s a miracle worker and closed my diastasis recti in no time after both pregnancies. I do the class with a couple other moms, and Lisa watches and corrects us over video. I started doing it around four months postpartum. I love that it cuts out the commute time, so it’s easy to commit to. I practice the breathing Lisa teaches throughout the day to keep my transverse abdominis (the deepest layer of ab muscles) pulled in as tightly as I can to avoid any potential back issues or reopening my diastasis.

This class is one of the most important things I spend money on. Not only does my body feel better afterwards, but I also feel better about the way I look in general. It’s been a huge part of avoiding postpartum depression, as much as anyone can.

My meditation practice and sanity-saving tactics: $425

Last year when I became pregnant with Amel (my youngest), my husband and I started taking HypnoBirthing classes with Gina at Jaya Yoga ($425 for a 5-week series). All of the practice meditations really changed me. I was always giving to others and never taking the time out to focus on my own mental health. Plus, work-wise, the past few years have been really intense. DJ’ing has become less about your skills as a DJ and more about your social media following, and being that bound to followers and likes takes a toll on you. I’m now trying to change what my idea of success is; which is where the meditation also comes in. It’s made this go-round with the baby so much more enjoyable. I’ll do it at night to help me get to sleep—until Amel wakes me up, of course.